Battlestar Galactica Season Premiere… WTF was THAT?

Battlestar Galactica has jumped the shark.

Y’know that expression that’s always on Chloe’s face in "24"?  The look where her forehead is crinkled and she looks like she’s thinking, "WTF?", "You annoy me", and "Why are you wasting my time? all at once?

That’s the expression I had on my face throughout the entire episode.

I watched through all 2 hours of the Season Premiere and between Starbuck’s mystery baby and the supposed execution of Mary McDonnell & Richard Hatch’s characters (Oooh – I wonder if they survive?!? <feh>) I all but was ready to hurl.

It seems that Battlestar Galactica has changed writers or something because next to the "everyone got married on the planet" plotlines and "we’re going to torture everyone to intimidate the audience" subtext, it seems they don’t have a single original idea left in their pens.

Oooh.  Starbuck’s married, has a baby, and is now becoming domesticated.

Awww.  Apollo’s married, is now something of a slacker, and now has a gut bigger than mine.

Huh?  Cali lost her baby and is miraculously freed.

Booo!  Baltar is faced with the timelessly unoriginal "sign-this-or-else" dilemma.

What?  The rebels "crack the jamming frequencies" of the Cylons.

Jeez.  Cylons are now arguing and shooting each other.

I swear, I was almost happy that at the end of the premier, it looked like everyone was gonna get shot execution style.  Probably to put them out of their misery from this horrific story.  I swear to God, it’s so bad, I’m expecting a "Dallas-style" conclusion next week when Jamie Bamber/Apollo wakes up from a horrific nightmare and everything that transpired over the premier episode was a dream.

The solitary confinement bit is getting redundant after Colonel Tye got his eye plucked out. Every storyline seems unsurprising, derivative, and unoriginal. And strangely enough, even with all the "been-there-seen-that" plotlines, nothing seemed "believable", which was the hallmark (in my mind at least) of the series. The combination of the original story plus touches like the handheld camera shots in space and the realistic physics of the Vipers made it at least somewhat possible that this could be real. (Although that whole "firewall" bullsh-t from season 2 really threw me out of sync with the show for a few episodes. I’m surprised the "firewall" didn’t have Cisco-branding on it.)

But I was so hyped for the show that I kinda forgave most of the horrible story… up until the Baltar-must-sign-this-directive incident and which point, I started reading my football insider subscription at BruinBlitz.com, because it was more entertaining than the episode.

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