Kurt's Thoughts

Have you ever seen someone doing a presentation on stage that didn’t turn off their cell phone? 
Or didn’t turn off the room lights so the projection screen bled ‘white’? 
Or didn’t sound right or had ‘feedback’ because the speaker never bothered to do a microphone/sound check? 

…well, guess what:  LiveMeeting has the same problems except they involve software preparation instead of physical preparation for the presenter. 

Here are 5 simple rules that I see people break all the time when it comes to LiveMeeting presentations:

1. “UPLOAD YOUR DECK.”
   I consider not uploading your deck to be a lack of professionalism – and if you don’t know what “uploading your deck” means, you’ve likely never done it and really need to take a class on how to use LiveMeeting.  I mean, what it comes down to is despite having the luxury of doing the presentation remotely, you did so little preparation, you didn’t even bother to upload your deck to the LiveMeeting servers so that it appears clearly on the customer’s screen, much less test what the experience is like for your customer.  And BTW, you ought to flip through the deck once it’s been uploaded to ensure animations, fonts, & graphics placement translated correctly.  Improperly ‘translated’ slides is another dead giveaway you didn’t review your presentation online before the meeting.

   “DON’T PRESENT USING POWERPNT.EXE” (Corollary to Rule #1)
   I would be embarrassed if I delivered a presentation this way.  Live remoting/sharing-out POWERPNT.EXE and doing the presentation from within Powerpoint instead of LiveMeeting’s optimized, client-side caching presentation engine ignores the customer viewing experience and is either lazy or you don’t know how to use LiveMeeting.  For those of you who haven’t been on the viewing end of someone doing this recently there are two major issues for attendees when presenters do this:
   – Slide changes are HEINOUSLY SLOW. 
   Waiting for a slide to change while an attendee is on a mediocre Internet connection is painful:  Blocks of the screen appear slowly and it’s like viewing the live video through a 56kbps modem.  It kills the attendee’s ability to follow your presentation.
   – Presentations DO NOT SCALE.
   The slides don’t automatically size to fit the attendee’s personal LiveMeeting window.  This forces them to scroll up/down, left/right if they are running at a lower resolution than the presenter.  This results in attendees defocusing on what you’re saying and spending time scrolling around the screen.

2. “CHANGE YOUR RESOLUTION.”
   People… PLEASE.  This is Presentation Skills 101:  Before the customer sees your demo screen, shift down to 1024×768 & preferably down to 256 colors if possible – especially if you intend on doing a demo.  People can’t see your demo or your presentation if 1/3^rd of it is off screen and requires the user to use the horizontal scroll bars to read it.  Frankly, this is probably the worst LM etiquette violation a presenter can have.  In my mind, it’s akin to having a customer meeting and not putting your cell phone on vibrate.  It’s just thoughtless and inconsiderate.
   
3. “S… L…O…W… DOWN.”
   There’s a few of presenters I know that could be nicknamed, “The Fastest Slide Changers in the West”.  Customer centricity demands that you remember that LiveMeeting slide refresh speeds can be slow, slow, SLOW… especially with the horrible speeds of certain customer’s Internet gateways.  LiveMeeting’s presentation engine will pre-cache slides on a viewer’s machine in the order in which they’re organized to provide a smooth transition experience however it requires that they be connected for at least a few seconds beforehand so that it has time to download the content in the background.  If you jam through slides or especially ‘hop around’ your deck, people may not even see what you’re showing because you moved too quickly.  
   (An easy way to ensure you know what your attendees experience is like… is to simply open a separate LiveMeeting window as an ATTENDEE.  This way you can present and see what the attendee refresh rate is like.)
   
4. “SET UP RECORDING & UPLOAD HANDOUTS.”
   Why would you ever not record the session for the customer to playback?  Why wouldn’t you want other customers to see the presentation recording that couldn’t attend?  And why wouldn’t you take the time to upload your Powerpoint for download via the LiveMeeting “Handouts” function?  All this is, is preparation.  Even if you choose not to forward the recording link to the customer later, this is still a great thing to have just in case the customer said something and you need to go back to the recording to find out what it was.
   
5. “NEVER ASSUME INTERNET ACCESS AT A CUSTOMER’S SITE.”
   (This is a corollary to the age-old, “Don’t assume there’s a projector at a customer’s site.”)
   I don’t understand folks that show up onsite at a customer then suddenly ask out of the blue, “Hey, is there Internet access available?  We need one so that someone can demo the product remotely.”  They reveal that they don’t have a cellular Internet adapter and thus can’t connect to a LiveMeeting session.  People that don’t arrange to have an Internet connection ahead of time by asking the customer or the account team set themselves up to fail by not verifying the one thing they REALLY need for them to be able to execute their presentation.

My father sent me these.  Man, this is good stuff.  I don’t know how many of these are real but they sure are funny.

#1.  ‘After you retire, there’s only one big event left… and I ain’t ready for that.’ Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#2.  ‘The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.’ Lou Holtz /Arkansas

#3.  ‘There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.’ Woody Hayes / Ohio State

#4.  ‘I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation.  I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation’ Bob Devaney / Nebraska

#5.  ‘It’s kind of hard to rally around a math class.’ Bear Bryant / Alabama

#6.  ‘I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.’ Bear Bryant / Alabama

#7.  ‘I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.’ Alex Karras / Iowa

#8.  ‘My advice to defensive players:  Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.’ Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

#9.  ‘I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.’ Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

#10.  ‘Always remember… Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.’ Shug Jordan / Auburn

#11.  ‘I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me and he said:  ‘Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren’t any good.’ Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

#12.  ‘Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.’ Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#13.  ‘Football is not a contact sport – it is a collision sport.  Dancing is a contact sport.’ Duffy Daugherty /Michigan State

#14.  After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team:  ‘All those who need showers, take them.’ John McKay / USC

#15.  ‘If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.’ Murray Warmath /Minnesota

#16.  ‘The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb.  To be a back, you only have to be dumb.’ ‘Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#17.  ‘It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle.  You can hear it.’ Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#18. ‘We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.’ Wilson Matthews / Little Rock Central High School

#19.  ‘I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.’ Knute Rockne / Notre Dame 

#20.  ‘Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.’ John Heisman  AUBURN

I’m a huge fan.  Hoggworks brings the funny.

(Mac vs PC:  Retail Wars!:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RuIINeW8Iw)

If you enjoyed this, you’ll love Walt Mosspuppet – another creation of Hoggworks Studios.

Walt Mosspuppet has a YouTube channel of sorts which is where he started – a parody of Walt Mossberg and his "opinion" column in the Wall Street Journal, his appearances at All-Things-Digital, etc.:
(Warning:  Some of this is NSFW.)

• Walt Mossberg:  Reviews Snow Leopard
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W-ygu6_aDc
• Walt Mossberg:  “I have sabotaged Microsoft”
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZU010K4cyY
• Walt Mossberg:  Bill Gates is going to destroy Apple!
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W4c5JFbrBk
• Walt Mossberg’s Guide to Surviving Windows 7
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdn0AmdXsGg
• Walt Mossberg: "I am Responsible for Apple’s Success"
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n85dP5plZxg

For more commentary from Walt Mosspuppet, visit the Mosspuppet blog & the Mosspuppet Twitter feed:

• BLOG:  I’m Walt Mossberg. Shut up.
  The only technology journalist in the world.
  http://mosspuppet.wordpress.com/
• TWITTER:  Mosspuppet.
  http://twitter.com/mosspuppet

Here’s a list of a few things that I subscribe to these days.

• Five Hundy By Midnight – “The Original Las Vegas Podcast”
  Still, strangely, the best Las Vegas podcast out there… mostly because Tim & Michelle actually TALK about Las Vegas and Las Vegas related topics.  Imagine that.  The least professional podcast I listen to is one of the few podcasts that actually stays on the topic of the show.  Wow.  What a concept.
  http://feeds.feedburner.com/FiveHundyByMidnight
• Sessler’s Soapbox Video Podcast – “G4TV’s Editor-in-chief Adam Sessler’s video commentary”
   Adam, besides being a UCLA Bruin, has one of the sharpest minds in the video game industry and shares his thoughts in a weekly podcast.  Frankly, I wish this was a DAILY podcast because while I don’t always agree with him, his podcasts are always well-reasoned, rational, and thought-provoking.  I wish every podcast I listened too was as such.
  http://g4tv.com/thepile/podcasts/39/Sesslers_Soapbox.xml
• Windows Weekly with Paul Thurrott & Leo Laporte
  I blaze a trail through Leo’s Apple & Google zealotry to glean the wisdom that is Paul’s commentary on “all-things-Microsoft”.  Paul’s always got a good perspective on matters, often understanding the motivations behind certain events that other’s don’t, and many times he says the things out loud that simply NEED to be said out loud and I think it’s very cathartic for people in IT.  I think it’s also impressive that Paul understands as much as he does without actually being an employee.
  http://www.leoville.tv/podcasts/ww.xml
• KOXM Official Xbox Magazine Podcast
  This one surprised me:  This is a really good quality podcast with a lot of great information, delivered by what I can only surmise are 3 guys high on weed.  All kidding aside, Dan Amrich are hilarious and
  http://oxmpodcast.podbean.com/feed/
• Onion News Network Video
  No one makes a better professionally done web video than The Onion.  Not ever College Humor’s originals beat The Onion for their consistent quality and gut-busting LMAOs.
  http://feeds.theonion.com/OnionNewsNetwork/
• The Adam Carolla Podcast
  Still one of the more oddly entertaining podcasts on the Interwebs, Adam never fails to make me laugh with some off-color and ass backward comment of his.  With his professionally sharpened wit and litany of top shelf guests, it’s no wonder his podcast is one of the top 10 most listened to.
  http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheAdamCarollaPodcast
• Xbox Live’s Major Nelson Radio
  Oddly, KOXM talks more about Xbox than Larry usually does. Although sometimes as much as 50% of the podcast often has absolutely nothing to do with Xbox, gaming, or even anything Microsoft-related, it’s still a good source of interesting information like NPD sales statistics of consoles and games monthly, new console enhancements, and ‘why/how people get banned from Xbox Live’.  So if you can fast forward through the iPhone-talk, Blu-ray-babble, and Kindle-fawning, you can usually get good insight into events like PAX, Tokyo Game Show, and E3.
  http://feeds.feedburner.com/MajorNelsonblogcast
• WMExperts Podcast
  The guys over at WMExperts do a really good job on podcasting week after week about a story that… well… is really tough to report on considering how LITTLE is being actually released about new devices and new software products for Windows Mobile recently.  I really have to tip my hat to these guys for doing what they do on a week-to-week basis… and I listen to their broadcast every week religiously.  Funny how OUR own product group doesn’t have anything like this despite desperately needing a little community development and publicity.
  http://feeds2.feedburner.com/WmexpertsPodcast

OMFG.  Have you guys seen this book?  It’s a frickin’ MONSTER.

1088 pages.  This is Stephen King’s recently release novel and it’s a whopper.  Apparently, King’s been working on this book off and on since the 70s.

It’s about a town that is essentially blocked off from the rest of the world.  And apparently, without outside influences, the town goes gonzo on itself and weird and unpredictable ways.  That’s about as much as I know about it since I haven’t read it yet.  But that’s not why I’m mentioning it.

Y’see there’s been this price war that’s been going on amongst the major book sellers Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, Target, etc. since it was released earlier this month, to price this thing down to… well… almost nothing.  At most places you can get the hardback for less than $10.  That’s right.  1088 pages of Stephen King for less than $10. 

What’s blown me away is that you can ALSO get the audiobook off of AUDIBLE.COM for only ONE SINGLE CREDIT.

ONE CREDIT?  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I first heard about this on the Windows Weekly podcast and I couldn’t believe it when I heard it so I had to go check it out myself.  And yes, it’s true – you can get the entire audiobook for just ONE SINGLE CREDIT.  It would normally sell for $27.99.

One credit on Audible, when you become a “subscriber” is  effectively about $10.  To the lay person, this might not seem like a big deal considering the hardback version of the book is also going for $10, but for audiobook readers, we know that recorded readings are always 2x-3x times more expensive than the text versions.

Also, keep in mind that someone had to actually read all 1088 pages ALOUD… and this took a whopping 34 HOURS & 29 MINUTES.  On Audio CDs, this would consume 17 discs.

17 DISCS!?!?

Even on Audible, you have to basically download 5 media files to get the whole book and the total space consumed by this one book alone is about 1.0GB.  I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a book this large before posted to Audible. 

Now, I’m not a monster fan of Stephen King.  I’ve only read one or two books of his in the past but this thing is such an incredible anomaly in the audiobook world that I just had to burn a credit on it. 

Check it out:

• AUDIBLE:  Stephen King’s “Under the Dome – A Novel” – UNABRIDGED
  http://bit.ly/7h45mw

My friend works at Herman Miller and for my birthday he bought me the latest chair that they’ve made for professional workers that specifically sit in front of computers a lot:

INTRODUCING THE “EMBODY”.
(I can’t help it.  I gotta pitch this thing. 
It’s REALLY FRICKIN’ COMFORTABLE.)

I’ve sat in a lot of office chairs – particularly the Aeron which was Herman Miller’s design that was all the rage during the Internet boom of the late 90’s.  Dotcom start ups bought these by the hundreds of thousands to populate and furnish their new dotcom workspaces. 

Yes, the Aeron was comfortable, what with it’s mesh based fabric & it’s back shaped structure… it was practically designed for the uber-computer user.

FLAWS IN THE ORIGINAL AERON:
But there were always few things the bugs the crap out of me about the Aeron:

1. STIFF.  The back felt stiff even with the mesh fiber.  The fiber would bend and flex to your backs contours but it really had different amounts of pressure along your back and thus you felt more comfortable in some areas than others.
2. LACK OF ELBOW ROOM.  The fact was that your elbows were stuck either in front of your body on the arm rests, or directly at your side.  Everyone knows that when you stick your chest out to stretch, your elbows need to be behind your body.  No can do on the Aeron.
3. THIGH SUPPORT.  Weird as this sounds, on some chairs my thighs would ‘hang over’ the end of the chair.  On others, the seat would be too big and I’d have to ‘scoot’ forward which is not ergonomic.

THE EMBODY “DESIGN CHANGES”
It’s clear that they put some though into fixing the Aeron’s issues in the new Embody.  The Embody inherits all of the features I loved about the Aeron like the breathable mess fiber covering, the adjustability of every typical aspect of the chair, the smoothness of the swivel, etc.  But they also specifically corrected the above issues:

1. FLEXIBLE BACKBONE.  This is the weird part that’s fascinating.  The chair actually has a “backbone” that flexes with your back’s shape.  No longer are you dependent on the mesh to flex to the contours of your back.  That still happens but now the back of the chair actually has joints that adjust to your back as well.  We have some really crappy chairs at work and this one is so comfortable, I may ask my friend to order me another on my dime just so that I have one at home and at work for this feature alone.
2. THIN BACK, OPEN ELBOWS.  The back is much thinner allowing one’s elbows to poke out on the sides.  This is a very natural feel that doesn’t make your chest feel cramped or your elbows feel confined.  There’s a lot more freedom in the way your body fits the chair.
3. EXPANDABLE BASE.  The chair’s seat literally can be elongated outward so that more of your thighs are supported by the base.  This disperses more of your weight across a larger surface area lessening the pressure on any one part of your body.

Like most professional office furniture, this isn’t cheap.  But it’s definitely far an above anything I’ve sat in.  I’m sitting in it right now wishing I had one for my office and the baby’s room.  I could probably rock our son to sleep every night in this.

• LINK:  Herman Miller “Embody” Chair
  http://embody.hermanmiller.com/

In a nutshell, our work with an animal rescue organization here in Los Angeles, and if you’d be so kind as to simply sign the petition/voting booth to get the rescue have a shot at $10,000 prize, we’d appreciate it.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE:
http://www.care2.com/animalsheltercontest/8267?refer=18276.04.1257916930.891680

An very long argument broke out today over a distribution list here at Microsoft over a laid-off employee’s “last parting email”.  He lashed out at various processes, technologies, traits, and even people of the company in a manner that can only be described as ‘unfiltered’.

Now I’m all for feedback & criticism, but this individual’s email brought to light, through discussion, some rather interesting, and IMHO, important lessons about communicating & working with others in the workplace.  I thought I’d summarize some of what was articulated based on a massively long mail thread that was written because I know I personally learned a lot.

• CRITICISM SHOULD BE ACTIONABLE & CONSTRUCTIVE… NOT JUST A RANT
  Ranting does not make things better.  People rant to allow themselves to vent which may be personally satisfying but it does nothing to fix a problem.  People that truly want to be an”agent of change” submit constructive criticism that shows a clear link to what action is needed (actionable) and demonstrates how exactly to make something better. (constructive)
  
• CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM DOES NOT EQUATE TO SUGARCOATING
  Being constructive in one’s criticism doesn’t mean they have to spin things in a positive light, but rather focuses on how to really improve something.  With one’s constructive comments, the recipient should be able to take that feedback and make a clear decision on how to improve that something.
  
• EMOTION-DRIVEN OPINION IS RARELY UNIVERSAL FACT
  What may seem obvious “objective fact” to you, is more often than not simply a personal preference and a “subjective opinion”.  Emotion often blinds individuals to the fact that others may see things completely differently based on their personal work habits or valuable experience… experience that you, very often, do not have.
  
• MUTUAL RESPECT IN A WORK ENVIRONMENT TRUMPS YOUR RIGHT TO COMPLAIN
  Everyone has the right to complain however the moment someone feels that they are being treated disrespectfully by said complainer, the game’s over.  Mutual respect is of utmost importance to maintaining a harmonious work environment and in fact, making individuals feel respected is often a great tool to working better & solving challenges.
  
• PERSISTENCE IS THE KEY TO IMPROVEMENT & IMPROVEMENT IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS
  Individuals that throw their arms up in defeat have ideas and beliefs that are lost to history.  Meanwhile those that persevere with passion, conviction, and don’t lose heart are the individuals that change the world.
  
• CREATING “US” vs" “THEM” DICHOTOMIES IN THE WORKPLACE IS A DANGEROUS PATH
  Very often people find themselves referring to another organization or a management layer as “them” relative to “us”.  I know that, to this day, I personally do this occasionally.  This is a no-win trap because in the end, there is no “us” or “them:  There is only “us”.  And the success or failure of the company is dependent only on “us”.  There is ultimately no ‘win’ if anyone fails.
  
• CONSENSUS REQUIRES COMMUNICATION & COMMUNICATION REQUIRES WORK
  If you’re positive that your ideas are ‘better’, yet no one who has heard your ideas agreed, the only person you have to blame is ultimately yourself because you failed to communicate your ideas clearly with relevant rationales.  When people argue with you, it’s often because they’re not clear about what you’re articulating.  Other times, it’s not because they don’t agree with you, but rather they’re simply testing the strength of your ideas.  Some people do flat out disagree with you, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t open to having their minds changed.  Some may even indicate ways you can improve your arguments whereas you might misinterpret this as ‘not getting it’.

How is it that the Avatar Marketplace doesn’t have UCLA in it?

Big deal you say.  So UCLA’s not listed in the “University Collection” of the Avatar Marketplace on Xbox Live?  Who the hell cares?  I mean there are a lot of universities that aren’t listed, right?  There’s only 30 university logos posted so heck – why are you throwing a fit?

Well – besides the fact that I’m a UCLA alum, and besides the fact that this is supposed to be representative of major sports schools in particular, I’m having a big of a hard time understanding the conspicuous lack of a UCLA logo.

Let’s get this out of the way:  UCLA is the #1 sports college in the nation.  Yes, you USC Football fans might believe that your football program (and its questionable legality, I might add) puts you in the elite tier of athletics programs in the nation, but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that UCLA’s nation-leading 104 championships can’t be wrong.  And this list doesn’t even include the championships that we attained before the establishment of the NCAA:

• 19 Men’s Volleyball NCAA Championships
• 16 Men’s Tennis NCAA Championships
• 11 Men’s Basketball NCAA Championships
• 10 Women’s Softball NCAA Championships
• 8 Men’s Track & Field NCAA Championships
• 8 Men’s Water Polo NCAA Championships
• 7 Women’s Water Polo NCAA Championships
• 5 Women’s Gymnastics NCAA Championships
• 5 Women’s Track & Field NCAA Championships
• 4 Men’s Soccer NCAA Championships
• 3 Women’s Volleyball NCAA Championships
• 2 Men’s Golf NCAA Championships
• 2 Women’s Golf NCAA Championships
• 2 Men’s Gymnastics NCAA Championships
• 1 Women’s Tennis NCAA Championships
• 1 Men’s Swimming NCAA Championship

But the thing that really bites is that while we don’t have UCLA’s logo available to get on Xbox Live’s Avatar Marketplace, apparently it’s okay to use UCLA’s campus as a representation of the typical American university on the Unversity Collection view screen within the Avatar Marketplace.  Take a look at the background of the “University Collection” in the Avatar Marketplace:

That’s right.  Avatar Marketplace’s background photo is of UCLA’s campus.  Not USC.  Not Michigan.  Not even Washington.  Meanwhile there’s no UCLA logo or Avatar content available for purchase online, despite the fact that Cal, USC, Arizona, and USC are all available.

W… T… F?

I’m a regular listener of about 12 podcasts including Windows Weekly featuring Paul Thurrott.  One of the sponsors of his podcast is AUDIBLE.COM, a digital audio book store which I used to pitch heavily back in the day when I did a lot of Windows Mobile sales stuff. 

Paul’s podcast keeps pitching AUDIBLE on the program so I decided to check it out again since my wife spends a lot of time just sitting with the baby and she could really use audio books during this time.  And besides, I haven’t actively visited the AUDIBLE.COM site since the early 2000’s.

NOT MUCH TO LISTEN TO BACK IN THE DAY
The problem I had with AUDIBLE.COM back in the day (and we’re talking about back in 1999-2001) was that there was really not a whole lot out there that I found interesting in digital audio book form.  It didn’t warrant me docking my device day after day to download content from the site.  Not even weekly.  I’d buy something then I’d forget about it.  The only thing that really seemed like it might be compelling enough to ‘dock every day’ was the Los Angeles Times, read daily.  The problem was that if you missed a day, the content was worthless.  Who wants to read yesterday’s news?

And with regard to normal books, I’d just as well simply buy the Audio Book on CD from Amazon.com then rip the thing if I ever really wanted to get an Audio book.

ENTER PODCASTS!
But along came podcasts.  It didn’t require visiting a special web site to get new audio content – just an RSS feed URL.  And sure enough, the content from these were worth downloading and archiving because they didn’t get “stale” like newspapers did.  All of a sudden, there was a reason to dock my device (a Zune 120GB or a Zune 8GB Flash) on a semi-frequent basis to my PC.  Podcasts were available with new content.

Soon I concluded that if I’m going to download all that new podcast content, I might as well do the same with AUDIBLE.COM.  After all, paid content is usually BETTER than free content in general so why not get both if there’s a compelling reason to dock your device.

WHOA.  THINGS HAVE CHANGED A BIT.
Next thing I know, I’m looking at my old AUDIBLE.COM account (Ancient!  Had to look up my old password in my files) and I’m seeing stuff available like “Super Freakonomics” (sequel to Freakonomics) and “Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown.  Hmmm.  Must check those out.  And they’re available in some kind of new “Enhanced Format” which purports to be CD quality – i.e. 192kbps, 44.1khz.  Cool.  “Lost Symbols” price was $35.

Wait a second.  $35 AN AUDIO BOOK?!?  WTF Audible?  Audio books suddenly got way expensive on me!  I don’t recall audio books costing this much on AUDIBLE.COM.  At these prices, I might as well go get the tangible Audio CD from Barnes and Noble because there doesn’t appear to be much benefit from going “digital”.

WHAT’S THIS SUBSCRIPTION THING?
Then I notice this subscription thing.  Apparently, they now sell Audio books on a subscription – specifically an “AudibleListener GOLD MONTHLY Subscription”.  You can buy 1 audio book every month for a year for $14.95, which locks you into paying at least $179.40 total for 12 books (1 each month) but at $15 each, you basically save yourself $20 on most major Audio books since they usually cost $35 each.

Now the REAL deal comes when you try this “AudibleListener PLATINUM ANNUAL Subscription”.  This PLATINUM deal nets you 24 books that you can download anytime you want instead of 1 each month, and better yet, the cost is $229.  This is obviously the most flexible and cost effective deal being that each book comes out to be about $9.90 instead of paying $35.00 each.

This is what I opted for.  I now have 22 “credits” left since I picked up both “Super Freakonomics” and “Lost Symbol”.

OTHER BENEFITS
It turns out that as a “subscriber” or “member” you get a bunch of additional “free stuff” like free books occasionally or free “first chapters” to whet your appetite.
http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/template/members/FreeForMembers.jsp?BV_UseBVCookie=Yes

The “big one” is you get free M-F subscription to either the New York Times Audio Digest (the NYT read aloud for your morning drive into work) or the Wall Street Journal Audio Digest.  This is normally a $49/year for each.  I should know – I used to subscribe to it way back in 1999.

Another benefit is that all books that you purchased beyond your cap (24 books in my case) are 30% off.

CONCLUSION
I really like my rediscovery of Audible.  Something else that blew me away was that apparently AUDIBLE was acquired by Amazon.com some time ago.  Didn’t even realize that.

Today, I opened up my postal mailbox to find a very legitimate looking document claiming to be from the "Homeowner Property Tax Review Board – Tax Reduction Review Division".  If you found this page as a result of doing an Internet search, let me get to the point: 

DON’T DO IT.  This is a private company trying to weasel $189 from you.

Have you seen this postal letter show up in your mailbox?

WHAT IS THIS?
This is similar to a ‘phishing’ operation, except it involves real postal mail instead of email.  Having almost ‘bitten’ on a similar deceptively written letter before (probably by the same losers, I might add), I became wary of the document the moment it used my property’s Assessor’s ID number.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Searching through the text, I finally found the sentence I’d been looking for buried in the smallest font on the page:

"Homeowner Property Tax Review Board is not a government agency and this product has not been approved or endorse by any government agency."

Now the clowns – hey, let’s call them what they are – at this "Homeowner Property Tax Review Board" apparently attempted to defend their stance in the comments of another blogger’s posting on this concern in Arizona & Nevada, claiming that their letter was (get this) not meant to be deceptive:

"…we did not try to mask this as bill or a government document and the best way we felt that we could accomplish that was by putting in an outlined box on the OUTSIDE of the envelope THIS IS NOT A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT."

(http://www.davidwallace.com/2009/08/property-tax-review-board-ptrb-is-a-scam/)

I’m looking at my envelope.  I see no such writing on it.  I took a photo of it and posted it below.

  Here’s the envelope.  The back is BLANK. 
Do you see the phrase "This is not a government document" anywhere on the envelope?

AND THE BALONEY CONTINUES OUT OF STATE
I started searching for stuff on these guys and lo-and-behold, there’s a ton of articles about this in Arizona & Nevada.  Apparently, this company didn’t try to pull this stunt off in California first but rather went after neighboring states instead.  Now that they’re getting the spotlight shown on them in those states, they seem to be sliming their way through California.

Here’s a few doozies I found on the net.  Read them yourself:

AG says ‘property tax review board’ info available for free

"…California Attorney General Edmund G. Brown Jr. filed suit on May 12 against Michael McConville, his brother Sean McConville, and their businesses, Property Tax Reassessment and Property Tax Adjustment Services, in San Diego County Superior Court.

According to that lawsuit, the McConville brothers billed tens of thousands of homeowners throughout California nearly $200 each for property tax reassessment services that were almost never performed and are available free of charge from local tax assessors.

Few, if any, of the assessment appeals were completed, the suit alleges. In addition, the Ventura County (Calif.) district attorney’s office has charged one of the brothers, Sean McConville, with 20 felony counts for criminal conduct stemming from his property tax reassessment operations."

…

http://www.pahrumpvalleytimes.com/2009/Aug-12-Wed-2009/news/30550320.html

Here’s another news article on it:

Suit Filed To End Property Tax Scam
‘Official-Looking Documents’ Are Bogus, He Warns

"PHOENIX — Attorney General Terry Goddard announced Friday that he has filed a lawsuit and obtained a temporary restraining order to stop the perpetrators of an alleged fraud that claimed a homeowner’s property qualified for a "property tax reduction review."

The lawsuit names Property Tax Review Board, Inc., a Granada Hill, Calif.-based company; Property Tax Review Board’s President and CEO Michael McConville, of Simi Valley, Calif., and Carmen Mercer, of Tombstone, owner of the Post Office box included in the solicitation.

"This solicitation appears to be an attempt to scam homeowners who are looking to reduce their property tax bill," Goddard said.

The solicitation, which requests a $189 processing fee, is not affiliated with any government entity, Goddard said. The document attempts to appear official and contains a “notice number” and deadline for prompt processing."

…

http://www.kpho.com/news/20321829/detail.html

Here’s my favorite:

Property tax letters an alleged scam

"The Yuma County Assessor’s Office is warning residents about official-looking letters they may have received which claim their property qualifies for a "property  tax reduction review."

County Assessor Joe Wehrle said those official-looking letters, which are being sent from Phoenix by a company calling itself the Property Tax Review Board, are fake and are nothing more than a statewide scam to rip off homeowners.

"This company is fraudulent," Wehrle said. "We do not want anyone to pay any money to these people."

Wehrle said county staff has already received numerous phone calls from homeowners Tuesday morning asking about the letters, which say a response is due by Aug. 28, 2009.

"The way the letter is written, it gives the reader the impression they are appealing their taxes, instead of their property value," Wehrle said. "You should never be charged to review your property value because  homeowners can file appeals on their own for free, but they must do it on time.""

…

http://www.yumasun.com/articles/property-51909-letters-yuma.html

So homeowner beware.  These folks are clearly deceitful and in my opinion have no interest other than separating folks looking for a tax break during this difficult economy from $189.  I really hope California’s lawyers litigate these complete-and-utter douchebags back to the stone age.

I tweeted about this but now I have to blog about it because I keep watching it over and over again.

Imagine if you will one of the most highly tuned hand-to-hand combat fighters in the world looking at a set of skill ratings that purport to describe him in a video game about MMA.  Now imagine that fighter is NOT happy with his scores so he completely loses it in the war room and decides to take it out on the lead developer of the MMA video game and anyone else that gets in his way.

Ladies & gentlemen:  May I introduce you to Jason Mayhem Miller, MMA fighter reviewing EA Sports new mixed-martial arts video game.  Watch it all the way to the end.

Okay.  So it’s not that big a deal and it’s not a Microsoft product.  I don’t care.  This is just BOSS.  It’s a 19.2MB theme and it makes your console feel like you’re in Fallout 3 ALL THE TIME.

I think this is one of the coolest Premium Themes I’ve seen to date.  I’ve not been really that impressed with a Premium Themes until now.  It really does look like an in-game shot of Fallout 3.  And I got it free!  (Okay.  So I only saved $3… but it’s still cool to get something like this for free.)

Thank you Bethesda, you sexy beasts, you.

I adore my Brother HL-2140W Wireless Personal Laser Printer. 

For years I used a slow HP Laserjet 4M that would jam on me or chew up toner cartridges.  Then one day, I went hunting for a black & white WIRELESS laser printer.  Something not too extravagant but anything that WASN’T inkjet because inkjet is the quickest way to make documents that look like a 6th grader produced them.  Heaven forbid you get them damp or drop a bead of water on them.

I discovered the wonderful Brother HL-2140W.  It cranks out 23 pages per minute and it’s cheap as dirt at $109.  It’s never jammed or failed on me and it’s got both wired and wireless interfaces on it making it super easy use for laptop users and it’s fidelity is perfect for customer printouts or just the quick “map & address” printout before you hit the road.

Even better, Windows 7 will autodetect it on the network if you search for wireless printers and it’ll autoinstall the correct driver on your system.  So cool, it’s disgusting. 

So what’s the problem?

THE TONER “GYP”
Well, it turns out that the device will tend to report that “toner is low” early.  It does this by shining a light through holes in the toner cartridge.  Normally this isn’t a problem however when it declares that the toner is “empty”, the printer STOPS WORKING unlike most other printers.

What’s worse is that we all know, there’s usually a little toner left in the cartridge but in the case of the 2170W, there’s usually a LOT.  People online report being ‘stopped’ at 1000 pages printed despite having enough toner in the cartridge to be able to go another 500 pages.

So yeah – that sucks.  But still, if you can get 50% more printed pages out of a toner cartridge that reads “empty” that’s pretty f’ing good.

• Brother HL-2170W Personal Laser Printer:
  http://bit.ly/3SCGR6

A few weeks ago, I encountered the Trifecta.  As I sat attending a UCLA Football game with my guacamole-laden “Macho Nachos”, I noticed something unusual on the scoreboard sponsorship:

UCLA Bruins Football… brought to you by Xbox 360!

Yeah!  The Nachos, Bruin football, and Xbox… the trifecta!

Apparently, I am fated to be a member of the Knights Templar. 

(Hmm.  And all this time, I thought I was more Illuminati-ish.)

Find out what secret society you belong to:

• http://www.darkdaysarecoming.com/

I’m really surprised that more hoopla isn’t made of these things.  One day WOOT.com had a sale on InCharge Xbox 360 controller battery chargers, each with 2 batteries, so I bought 3 units, not expecting much.  I figured, “Everyone needs extra batteries, right?”

What I got was a big surprise.

THE DIFFERENCE IN BATTERY TECHNOLOGIES
Okay, forget for a moment that these are simply batteries for your Xbox 360 controllers.  These have been nothing short of a godsend over the past couple days.  I’m really surprised that no one else is talking about how glorious these batteries & chargers are.  There are so many benefits to InCharge that make it completely worth picking up relative to normal Xbox 360 batteries & chargers.

1. LIGHTER WEIGHT
   These batteries are half the weight of the official Xbox 360 controller batteries.  This really does make a difference in hand/game fatigue and I was pleasantly surprised and how nice and light the Xbox 360 controllers are with the InCharge batteries on them.
2. LITHIUM POLYMER BATTERIES = BETTER
   This is a biggest difference:  The batteries are not made of the same Nickel Metal Hydride material that the official Xbox 360 batteries are made of.  They’re made up of Lithium Polymer which, if you know your battery technology, is the current state of the art in battery technology today.  In fact, the much older Nickel Metal Hydride is ancient and rarely used in anything other than the most basic consumer electronics whereas Lithium Polymer (and it’s predecessor, Lithium Ion) is what is used in laptops and PDAs today because of two properties:
   1. LACK OF MEMORY EFFECT:  LiPoly has relatively little memory effect i.e. loss of energy retention capability.  Unlike Nickel Metal Hydride, you do not need to fully drain and fully recharge the battery to keep it from losing energy capacity.  Because of their predisposition to capacity loss, NiMH batteries always live dramatically shorter lives compared to LiPoly because of this memory effect issue.
   2. ENERGY CAPACITY:  LiPoly retains greater amounts of energy per weight than NiMH.  This is the reason why InCharge batteries can weigh substantially less (50% less!) than the NiMH batteries and still maintain 25 hour charges on them.
3. INDUCTION-BASED CHARGING
   This is really cool.  There’s no cords or connectors to plug into the batteries or the controllers to charge these batteries.  You simply place them on the charger and through magnetic induction, the InCharge batteries begin to charge.  This also mean that the batteries can still be connected to the controller and you can place the entire controller on the charger and the battery will begin charging without connecting anything to it.

I gotta say, I have virtually no complaints about these things.  The only thing that has bugged me is that when a battery is charged, there is a green LED light that constantly blinks incessantly.  I literally put tape over the LED, it got so annoying to look at.

Other than that, I got them at a steal for $14.99 on Woot, so it’s REALLY hard to complain about the price for certain, considering they normally retail for $34.99 and a couple extra batteries typically cost more than that alone without the charger.  However despite the fact that they aren’t “officially approved & licensed” Xbox 360 products, if you ever want new batteries for your Xbox 360 controllers, I’d encourage you to consider the InCharge.  These things are really convenient compared to the official Xbox 360 batteries and charging accessories.

Here’s one place where you can find these batteries & chargers:

• BUY.COM – $29.99
  Xbox 360 InCharge – Docking Charger for Xbox 360 Wireless Controllers (includes 2 rechargeable batteries / battery packs)
  http://www.buy.com/prod/Xbox-360-InCharge-Docking-Charger-for-Xbox-360-Wireless-Controllers/q/loc/108/207899477.html

I ain’t gonna lie to you:  Last year was a one of the worst year’s of my life professionally.  When all your customers are either being acquired or going bankrupt, it just f-ckin’ sucks.  Sure you aren’t making a dime, and your management looks at you understandingly yet you still feel like someone’s drawing a target on your back.

LAYOFFS LAYOFFS and LAYOFFS
Meanwhile, all the friends you’ve made at these customers – the folks that trust that your technology is going to help them stay afloat, the folks who’ve you’ve had drinks with and umpteen hundreds of meals with, the folks who you’ve met their spouses and kids – find themselves without jobs all because some jackass in the SEC couldn’t figure out the nation’s biggest financial scam.

And then right on cue, just as things look like they couldn’t get any worse:  The company has layoffs – the first of it’s kind.  You get a new manager with whom you’re totally unproven.  You have a newborn baby and an aging dog all of whom need attention.  And you’re still not making quota.

MEDIA FEARMONGERING = EPIC FAIL
Now as part of my job, I scour the net for news and information to stay abreast of what’s important in the industry.  But if you read enough of what’s published, you begin to think the world, your job, and everything you’ve built your career around is going to hell in a handbasket.  And it’s not surprising being that the media drives fear to sell advertising but even with this knowledge you can’t escape the sense of doom that they’ve created.

AND THEN THERE’S THE COMMENTS…
I won’t even go into the degenerates that actually comment on these sites.  I long for the days of accountability where if someone says something that’s patently false, you can hunt them down and ‘correct’ them.  The only reason there’s as much vitriol and lack of civility on the Internet these days is because these putzes have no fear of retribution.  If they had any belief that some day, someone was gonna knock on their door and personally “educate” them, they’d think twice about their libelous ways.

THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE INTERNET
So that’s why I started collecting a list of sites that make me laugh uncontrollably.  Something to laugh at – after all, why not harness the Internet for ‘good’?  Or at least a ‘good laugh’?

• FAIL Blog:  A blog of photos and videos of people… absolutely failing.
  http://failblog.org/
• Hot Chicks with Douchebags:  A photo collection of what else?  Hot chicks with douchebags.
  http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
• College Humor:  Because at the end of the day, I spiritually never left college.
  http://www.collegehumor.com/
• The Onion:  Still one of the best fake newspapers ever created.
  http://www.theonion.com/content/index
• ICanHasCheezburger:  LOLCatz are a little passé these days but these still have great markup.
  http://icanhascheezburger.com/
• FOUND.COM:  A collection of photos of items found lying around.  Some of this is riveting.
  http://www.foundmagazine.com/
• Comics Curmudgeon: Newspaper comics are for the most part, ass, so this dude makes sure it’s spelled out.
  http://joshreads.com/
• Ugly Outfits of NYC:  Candid photos of really ugly outfits people wear in the “city that never sleeps”
  http://uglyoutfitsnyc.com/
• Passive Aggressive Notes:  Again, a collection of notes that people take photographs of that are notes to people that have offended the writer. 
  http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
• Photoshop Disasters:  This speaks for itself and yet you can’t look away.
  http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
• Cake Wrecks:  Someone has a blog of really ugly cakes.  This is so obscure it’s hilarious.
  http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
• RolCatz:  Apparently the Russians have an Icanhazcheeseburger but when translated back to English, it’s even funnier.
  http://www.rolcats.com/
• Chuck Norris Facts:  Nuff said.  Can’t believe this joke went viral, but I’m glad it did.
  http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
• Demotivational Photos:  Mock motivational photos.  Great humor, even better shots of women.
  http://www.motivatedphotos.com/home.aspx?src=redir
• Digg Comedy:  Never a shortage of video comedy, this place is a wrecking ball of fun.
  http://digg.com/videos/comedy
• Holy Taco:  From the folks that brought you Break.com…
  http://www.holytaco.com/
• People of Walmart:  I can’t believe they made a web site dedicated to this.
  http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

(This is a review of a past trip that I never posted)

I used to like this place but my last trip was an industrial strength colon cleansing.

CASINO
Let’s start with how the casino has effectively become the United Federation of Douchebaggery on the strip.  Many years ago, Caesar’s was the sh-t & it only took $10k to be treated right.  Then one day, all the hosts up & left, taking their high rollers to Mandalay Bay & Caesar’s Palace was effectively f-cked.  Caesar’s had always been pretty dependent on its VIPs & this exodus rocked the place to its core.  With few whales available to sustain the revenue column on the balance sheets, the joint was forced to re-jigger its image.  That’s when you started to see all that advertising on Los Angeles billboards for the milquetoast Venus Pool Party & that ridiculous TV show, "Caesars 24/7", positioning the resort as a purported "hip & cool" place to stay & play.

Apparently this appeal to the young & infinitely stupid worked:  The tables are packed with guys that have that "I’m a Maxim magazine subscriber" look, playing 6-5 Blackjack on $10/$1000 tables packed ass-cheek to ass-cheek.  One Federline-lookalike got so excited over his $10 double down win I thought he was gonna up & cash his chips in for a Red Lobster gift card right then & there.  Don’t be surprised to see at least one dipsh-t thinking he’s the shizz & splitting tens:  This always has me in stitches because when the dealer bellows "SPLITTING TENS", all eyes lock onto that table for a brief second as if f-cking TeddyKGB himself just opened a package of Oreos.  Then everyone realizes that there’s no way this alcoholic asshat with a tribal arm tattoo is doing anything other than being a Grade-A chode.

And then there’s the gold diggers crawling all over black chip players like a fart in a spacesuit. Yes, the ghetto ‘Paris Hilton’ skank parade here is quite possibly at the root of why Caesar’s has degenerated from a once proud denizen of upper class well-dressed high rollers to wife-beater-wearing lowlifes that adorn their Ford F150’s trailer hitches with "truck balls".  The soulless atmosphere of Caesar’s casino is a side effect of all the 21-year-old-lip-gloss-laden brats trouncing about half-naked in this biohazard of a casino.  You can sense these self-important harpies leeching the joy out of everyone else in the pit as they shout intoxicated epithets at each other & spill Red Bull & Vodka drinks all over on their "You say bitch like it’s a bad thing" tank tops.  If they breathe on you, look into getting treated for gonorrhea.

Take my advice:  Even if you completely disregard the horrendous atmosphere, anyone that plays Blackjack here is a masochist.  Putting aside the obnoxious number of 6:5 tables here, the table rules that Caesars has on their 6-deck shoes are possibly the worst on the strip.  It’s indicative of how they’re clearly targeting dumb & dumber.  Check http://wizardofodds.co… for ongoing playing conditions but in general, I’ve never seen a good game at Caesars outside of the high limit tables.

FORUM SHOPS
What’s there to say about this Roman bastion of commerce?  The walkways are loaded with f-cktards that wear faded clothing labeled "Hollister", "Affliction", & "USC Football".  Oh, by the way, in case it wasn’t clear, buying anything here is about as enjoyable as a prostate exam from Rosie O’Donnell but what were you expecting?  Going to a 4-star hotel’s shopping mall & being surprised at the craptacular markup at "Brookstone" is like buying hot wings at a nudie bar:  Wrong place, wrong agenda, dumbass.

But let’s face it:  No one you know is really buying anything dangerous here.  While you drink yourself silly at Fat Tuesdays & hurl insults at Pete Rose who’s usually signing autographs at the sports memorabilia joint, your girl’s gonna get moist over the leather in Salvatore Ferragamo’s, ogle the red soles of Christian Louboutin which she once saw on "Housewives", then get self-conscious & head on over to Banana Republic to buy something cotton that her self-esteem will actually allow her to buy.  The big ticket purchase isn’t likely going to happen here so you can holster that Amex, Tonto.

And you know what else isn’t going to happen here at Caesars?  You getting laid.  At least not with anyone that doesn’t work for Benjamins & hangs out at Cleopatra’s Barge.  For those of you looking for that kind of play-for-play action, those ta-tas hanging from the barge aren’t just a coincidence:  It’s an "open for business" sign.  Yes, this place is tacky enough that anything with double-X chromosomes & even a few brain cells that can recognize what a classy Vegas experience is isn’t going to be bend-me-over-the-mini-bar impressed… which of course only reinforces the explanation as to why there are so many Vegas virgins here.

ROOMS
Seriously, this was tough to take after being used to the Caligulan hedonism of the Palazzo & the Wynn. Check in was done with all the delicacy of a gang rape – front desk tip or not. Either the desk clerk wasn’t interested in meeting Mr. Andrew Jackson or someone was on the heavy rag that day because based on the tone of little Miss Sunshine, I was somewhat certain I was halfway to getting shivved from across the registration desk had I uttered one more word. The Augustus Tower beds are large & approaching cardboard texture relative to premium hotels, the Internet access maxes out at 400kbps, supported by P.o.S. Nortel routers – a company with networking equipment so phenomenally lousy they went bankrupt which leads me to wonder if Caesar’s getting spare Nortel parts off of eBay, & the furniture & décor can be described as garish at best. Plan on bringing your own power strip if you’re a business traveler because with the lack of outlets near the desk, you’re otherwise going to be charging your cell phone next to your razor & toothbrush in the bathroom.

RESTAURANTS
It’s possible that the Roman empire might have defeated by their Achille’s Heel: Their restaurants. Every time I find out someone in our party has made reservations to eat on the property, I know they’re not reserving anything at the 5-star “mortgage your house” joints so I instinctively feel like shouting, “Tonight… we dine in HELL!” Yeah, I know… Guy Savoy & Bradley Ogden FTW true, but other than that… what’s left? Everything else is consistently resort-level mediocre. I give a pass to “Joe’s Steak Seafood & Stone Crab” & “Raos” but the rest of the restaurants is a drop in the MEH bucket. Not to mention that it’s home to some of the most overrated cuisine I’ve ever had: MESA Grill from Bobby Flay? Overpriced, underwhelming, with a side of ROFLtastically bad service. Hyakumi? Anyone that eats here deserves any symptoms they contract later in the evening, & being Japanese, I’m going to ask you this only once: “You’re in Vegas… WHY ARE YOU EATING HERE?” Nero’s? Zeros. There. I’m spent.

CONCLUSION
The Casino gets -1. The rooms are a 1. The Forum Shops are a 2. The restaurants are a 3. The “Qua” baths & spa, which I didn’t go over was the one bright spot in the joint so they get a 4 but I don’t have the time to write about it.

2-stars.  (out of 5)