Totally worth staying home for, for every “OMG MISTER” and “WUUUUUUUUT” and “YOU ARE THE BOMB, DUDE!”
But the best – the absolute best incident – was a group of 4 well-costumed kids that came by, stared at me as I opened the door and quietly said, “Trick or treat?” as if asking a question.
As I brought out the stack of giant chocolate bars (7oz) for them, their eyes got really big and they suddenly started jumping up and down screaming, “WE FOUND IT! WE FOUND IT! WE FOUND THE HOUSE!” One girl started hugging another girl and the boy high fives his Mom who was in my yard watching the kids from a distance. I hadn’t even given them the candy when one girl turned and looked at me and said, “We’ve been looking for you ALL NIGHT!” The aforementioned Mom chimed in, “They have! You’re legend in this neighborhood: They call you the “big chocolate house!”
After I handed them the candy, they all screamed THANK YOU as they danced – and I mean DANCED – away down my front steps yelling, “We totally did it! OMG, we found it!”
That’s right… I AM THAT HOUSE.
EPILOGUE:
Somewhere in an elementary school in my neighborhood tomorrow, I imagine a group of kids coming out during recess, talking about the bounties of candy they’d collected from the night before, trading M&Ms for Junior Mints… Swedish Fish for Haribo Gummi Bears… and one kid saying, “Hey, did you guys find the ‘big chocolate house’?” And the other kids going, “OH DUDE! TOTAL SCORE!”
…because that’s what I did when I was a kid. I searched for the legendary “big bar” house in the neighborhood every year, the one that gave out full-size candy bars.
And you know what? I never found it. Not kidding. All throughout elementary school, we used to go through 10+ streets, both sides, and I never found that house.
So in case you’re curious, that’s why I do this. The “legendary big bar house” that kids search for was a really important part of Halloween for me, and it would have been so memorable for me to have found it, just once, when I was a kid. Now I get the chance to make that legend possible for an entirely new generation of children.
By the way, so can you.