My CES 2013 checklist “upon arrival”

imageHere’s a checklist of things to do upon arriving into McCarron International:

  1. TAXI 
    Don’t get longhauled.  Clearly utter the words, “SHORTEST DISTANCE – TAKE PARADISE” to your cabbie.  Unless you’re going downtown, there’s no scenario in which you should be “taking the freeway”.  If you find yourself going through a tunnel – you are being what is called “longhauled” or intentionally taken for a longer ride that you should.  This will make the ride cost $10 more than it should.  This is ILLEGAL.  If this happens, get the cab number, the driver name, the cabbie’s permit #, the cab company, license plate if possible, and the general look of the cab… then report it here:
    Before you get to the registration desk, be sure to have your driver’s license, your credit card, and a $20 bill to tip the front desk clerk.  Fold the $20 into 4ths and place it in between your driver’s license & credit card and hand it to the clerk and ask to check in.  If you don’t know why you’re doing this, visit
    If you have a Purell wipe, take one & wipe down the TV remote – this is the #1 most germ/bacteria ridden item in the room.  Next, wipe down the phone handset, the clock radio, the thermostat, & RJ-45 cabling for the wired Internet connection if you’ve got one.  You don’t want to know what’s been discovered on these items in hotel rooms & remember:  Across the thousands of guests that pass through your room, these items are NEVER cleaned or wiped down.  It’s up to you to stay healthy for the next 5 days.
    I hope you arrived early.  If you did, you may have a shot of requesting a humidifier for your room.  Do it immediately:  Vegas during CES is DRY AS A BONE.  This will not only make your stay much more comfortable, it will keep your skin from getting itchy & will keep the static electricity in your room to a minimum.
    This is going to sound paranoid but if you think about it for just a moment, it’ll start to sink in:  Ask the front desk for a new bedspread.  Spill some water on it or some soda if you have to.  Then lay a towel over the desk seat.  Why?  The bedspread is RARELY CLEANED.  You are using the same bedspread that was used by over 2 months worth of occupants.  And you can bet most weren’t wearing clothing.  Now think about all those same guys sitting in the desk chair… with no pants on.  Yes.  Let that sink in.  Now go get a damned towel & cover the seat with it.
    Leave a tip with a note stating that the money’s for the housekeeping staff.  They appreciate this & if you ever need something – extra towels, sheets, pillows – that tip will go along way to making sure it gets delivered within this lifetime.  If you have the same housekeeper coming through every morning, it can’t hurt.
    Determine the location of the CES shuttle for you to use in the morning.  Find out when they start & end – because they don’t run all day.  Also find out if they’re running on Monday so you can pick up your badge if necessary.  Badge pickup is WAY in the back of South Hall I’m afraid and is more than a quarter mile walk so.

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