I generally hate forwarded emails. This one however had me chuckling. It reminded me of the kind of stuff I used to get back in the BBS days: Lists of things you could do to your school to rebel. Things like, "Leave little slips of paper lying around for the administration to find that say, ‘Tuesdays the day’", and "Carry a screwdriver around with you and slowly dismantle the school."
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the Intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on the desk and label it, "In".
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone’s gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For smuggling diamonds"
- Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with The Prophecy".
- Don’t use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
- Sing along at the Opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom"
- When the money comes out of the ATM, screen "I won! I won!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They’re loose!"
- Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go."